Shift F7 - The Most Valuable Shortcut An English Undergraduate Can Learn.

I do not like blogs. I have little to no interest in whether people's favourite colour is blue or yellow; nor why they are such tortured souls that are different to all of their brethren, as demonstrated through their unique decision to wear lots of black clothing and eye make-up and drink cider beyond the age of thirteen in locales mildly more varied than parks; nor what amusing stunts their cat can do when glued to a skateboard and sent careening through rush-hour traffic.

Although I would watch the latter on YouTube. But any glimmer of amusement discovered upon my visage would merely be there as a result of some higher form of comedy, observed from my condescendingly superior viewpoint and no doubt directed at the author of that content. Yes.

I do, of course, realise that there are many other forms of blog - I read several gaming and gadget blogs, but I choose to perceive these as electronic magazines. This re-interpretation of reality brings forth ego-massaging and conscience-soothing, as I inform myself that I am doing my part to slow down the destruction of our precious trees, which in turn helps to balance out the loss of toilet-based reading material (loo-lit).

I also realise the inherent irony of not only creating a blog myself, but also of choosing to create it within blogger.com. But I am out of options; I have created Shift F7 as an outlet for my opinions - the articles that I would love to write for newspapers, but never seem to get around to even starting. For without this digital soapbox, I am certain that my friends and family, although they love me dearly (for reasons unknown) will otherwise soon have me gagged and bound and deposited in Ulster, clad only in a sandwich board bearing the slogan "Cromwell > The Pope" on the front and "What Potato Famine?" on the back.
Not because they are an especially blood-thirsty lot (although several do have beady eyes, that dart left and right to ominous music whenever they are observed from a distance), but they would do this in order to cease my incessant ramblings about the Middle East Peace Crisis, or economic injustice, or smoking, or everything published within the Daily Mail. Things that really get my goat - or the four-legged ovine herbivore of your choice. Sheep, Alpaca, Yaks, even Llamas. Llamas are good.

So, contained in this 'blog' will be articles that I have a desire to write, on subjects about which my passion ranges from 'deep' and 'vociferous' to 'shallow' and 'ambivalent'. Or in Big Brother 7 terms, in order to appeal to a wider cross-section: from Imogen to Nikki.